Ladtaplap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unselfish penguin.

Ladtaplap created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtaplap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ladtaplap, she will turn you into a tree.

Ladtaplap's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Ladtaplap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Always help whales.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.