Vabtofcub is a god.

It takes the form of a large, proud butterfly.

Vabtofcub created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabtofcub, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabtofcub, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vabtofcub's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vabtofcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vabtofcub.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.