Hungontig Pakbancum Latlarnpak is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent giraffe.

Hungontig Pakbancum Latlarnpak created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hungontig Pakbancum Latlarnpak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hungontig Pakbancum Latlarnpak, he will turn you into a tree.

Hungontig Pakbancum Latlarnpak's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Hungontig Pakbancum Latlarnpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always look after injured seals.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Always stare at clouds.