Titquimlik is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful chinchilla.

Titquimlik created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titquimlik, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Titquimlik, it will turn you into a slug.

Titquimlik's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Titquimlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Do not kill shrews.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.