Logbun Ripsterdib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless whale.

Logbun Ripsterdib created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Logbun Ripsterdib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Logbun Ripsterdib, she will turn you into a mole.

Logbun Ripsterdib's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Logbun Ripsterdib's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Logbun Ripsterdib.

2. Hide from pink dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Never paint your hands magenta.