Kabflapkem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, strong shrew.

Kabflapkem created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabflapkem, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kabflapkem, he will turn you into a frog.

Kabflapkem's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kabflapkem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.