Kabpomjam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate meerkat.

Kabpomjam created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Kabpomjam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kabpomjam, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kabpomjam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kabpomjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.