Mumyatjat is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, staggering wasp.

Mumyatjat created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumyatjat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Mumyatjat, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Mumyatjat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Mumyatjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never wear yellow dresses.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.