Teenyakflap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental skunk.

Teenyakflap created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenyakflap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Teenyakflap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Teenyakflap's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Teenyakflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

2. Never paint your legs pink.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about cell theory.