Dussjigbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-confident rhinoceros.

Dussjigbonk created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dussjigbonk, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dussjigbonk, she will send minions to preach to you.

Dussjigbonk's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dussjigbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Dussjigbonk on top of all buildings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not eat aubergines.

5. Never paint your hands indigo.