Cimwotarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, tranquil gorilla.

Cimwotarp created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimwotarp, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cimwotarp, he will remove you from existence.

Cimwotarp's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cimwotarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Do not kill squirrels.

5. Do not chop down trees.