Cadlitlak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest alligator.

Cadlitlak created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Cadlitlak, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cadlitlak, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cadlitlak's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cadlitlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.