Nilhonhim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, passionate wolf.

Nilhonhim created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Nilhonhim, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nilhonhim, it will torture you forever.

Nilhonhim's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Nilhonhim's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help voles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.