Honwotmit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful armadillo.

Honwotmit created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honwotmit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Honwotmit, he will refuse to believe in you.

Honwotmit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Honwotmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Always help frogs.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.