Saffutgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic unicorn.

Saffutgeb created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saffutgeb, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Saffutgeb, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Saffutgeb's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Saffutgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four voles approach from the south.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Saffutgeb loves pigs, so they must be honoured.