Zogkennel is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, kind meerkat.

Zogkennel created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogkennel, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zogkennel, she will remove you from existence.

Zogkennel's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Zogkennel's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. Never sing near goats.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Fast once a month.