Rillmigpad Quafgigtad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, uncaring hamster.

Rillmigpad Quafgigtad created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillmigpad Quafgigtad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rillmigpad Quafgigtad, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Rillmigpad Quafgigtad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Rillmigpad Quafgigtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Never mention nematodes.

3. Never paint your head blue.

4. Never jump near aardvarks.

5. You must pray to Rillmigpad Quafgigtad nine times a day.