Wapnilcet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, blissful swallow.

Wapnilcet created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapnilcet, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wapnilcet, it will jump up and down on your head.

Wapnilcet's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wapnilcet's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must love Wapnilcet.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.