Cabtarptig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, contented wolf.

Cabtarptig created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtarptig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cabtarptig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Cabtarptig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cabtarptig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not kill gulls.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Cabtarptig on top of important buildings.

5. Cabtarptig must be the most important thing in your life.