Bimlatmat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciful goat.

Bimlatmat created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bimlatmat, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bimlatmat, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bimlatmat's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bimlatmat's Holy Commandments

1. Bimlatmat loves horses, so they must be honoured.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always help sharks in need.

4. Never mention tortoises.

5. Never pour water over plants.