Bossniggar is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, passionate cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bossniggar created water two years ago.

If you believe in Bossniggar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bossniggar, it will try to impress you with trees.

Bossniggar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bossniggar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bossniggar on top of all buildings.

2. Run away from black tapirs, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear magenta trousers.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.