Targbaphivbim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sage hydra.

Targbaphivbim created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Targbaphivbim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Targbaphivbim, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Targbaphivbim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Targbaphivbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. You must love Targbaphivbim.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.