Mobbegham Kapgumfum is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic crab.

Mobbegham Kapgumfum created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Mobbegham Kapgumfum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mobbegham Kapgumfum, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mobbegham Kapgumfum's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Mobbegham Kapgumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Mobbegham Kapgumfum must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.