Dubhapmitgof is a god.

It takes the form of a large, passionate squirrel.

Dubhapmitgof created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dubhapmitgof, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dubhapmitgof, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dubhapmitgof's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dubhapmitgof's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four mites approach from the north.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.