Pongambit is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, uncaring giraffe.

Pongambit created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pongambit, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pongambit, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Pongambit's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Pongambit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of nematodes.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not chop down trees.