Rowfutzedlakbutjadgemgat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unthinking mole.

Rowfutzedlakbutjadgemgat created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowfutzedlakbutjadgemgat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rowfutzedlakbutjadgemgat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Rowfutzedlakbutjadgemgat's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Rowfutzedlakbutjadgemgat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide from black moths for they are unholy.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.