Yatgomsas is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, emotional elephant.

Yatgomsas created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatgomsas, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yatgomsas, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yatgomsas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Yatgomsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick pigs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yatgomsas.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.