Foncebrul is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring mink.

Foncebrul created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Foncebrul, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Foncebrul, it will turn you into a tree.

Foncebrul's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Foncebrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. You must love Foncebrul.

3. Run away from turquoise dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Hide if six swans approach from the south.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.