Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, slow gnu.

Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quafmiphug Butmetsomvilflam.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always take life seriously.