Zimflatvancar is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing warg.

Zimflatvancar created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Zimflatvancar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zimflatvancar, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zimflatvancar's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Zimflatvancar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Put Zimflatvancar first in all things.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zimflatvancar.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Fast once a month.