Labxinflab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, caring dugong.

Labxinflab created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Labxinflab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labxinflab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Labxinflab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Labxinflab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Never eat bark.