Zakgetgud Metvadbagtikxin Gontetticeb is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil squirrel.

Zakgetgud Metvadbagtikxin Gontetticeb created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakgetgud Metvadbagtikxin Gontetticeb, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakgetgud Metvadbagtikxin Gontetticeb, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zakgetgud Metvadbagtikxin Gontetticeb's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Zakgetgud Metvadbagtikxin Gontetticeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.