Gepflabzim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage skunk.

Gepflabzim created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepflabzim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gepflabzim, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gepflabzim's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gepflabzim's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three snails approach from the east.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about porpoises.

5. Always wear pink.