Doncenbem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful swallow.

Doncenbem created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doncenbem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Doncenbem, he will refuse to believe in you.

Doncenbem's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Doncenbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Feed all hungry cats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to music.