Toflegbomkin is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, omnipotent walrus.

Toflegbomkin created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toflegbomkin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Toflegbomkin, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Toflegbomkin's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Toflegbomkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.