Maptikmin is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical fish.

Maptikmin created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Maptikmin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Maptikmin, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Maptikmin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Maptikmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Always wear white.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.