Benlabdapvid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, dishonest newt.

Benlabdapvid created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benlabdapvid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Benlabdapvid, she will turn you into a sheep.

Benlabdapvid's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Benlabdapvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Do not speak about oranges.