Flan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless shrew.

Flan created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Flan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Flan's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Flan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Retreat if five eagles approach from the west.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.