Bomfagbut Tamgemran is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind ferret.

Bomfagbut Tamgemran created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bomfagbut Tamgemran, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bomfagbut Tamgemran, she will turn you into a slug.

Bomfagbut Tamgemran's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bomfagbut Tamgemran's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bomfagbut Tamgemran.

4. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

5. Bomfagbut Tamgemran must be the most important thing in your life.