Fadfadwit is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy giraffe.

Fadfadwit created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadfadwit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fadfadwit, he will laugh at you.

Fadfadwit's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fadfadwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Fadfadwit loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not stand on grass.