Yarlzogfit is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, amazing whale.

Yarlzogfit created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlzogfit, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarlzogfit, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yarlzogfit's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Yarlzogfit's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Yarlzogfit loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Always help mites.

5. Never pour water over plants.