Armbastapp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient seal.

Armbastapp created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armbastapp, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Armbastapp, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Armbastapp's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Armbastapp's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Armbastapp.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not shave your hands.