Hatmigdibbun is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate snail.

Hatmigdibbun created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatmigdibbun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hatmigdibbun, he will send you a sign.

Hatmigdibbun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hatmigdibbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of moths.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help sick goats.

5. Never wear shorts.