Gessciphan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome dugong.

Gessciphan created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessciphan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gessciphan, it will turn you into a rat.

Gessciphan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gessciphan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never mention dogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.