Sitzedlad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, effective walrus.

Sitzedlad created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitzedlad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sitzedlad, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sitzedlad's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Sitzedlad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect six gold sculptures of Sitzedlad on top of important buildings.