Larnhanbon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic crow.

Larnhanbon created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Larnhanbon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Larnhanbon, she will be very sad.

Larnhanbon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Larnhanbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gulls.

2. Larnhanbon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

5. Do not laugh in public.
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