Flabcudfodgepgephonxenflag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unjust tortoise.

Flabcudfodgepgephonxenflag created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcudfodgepgephonxenflag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabcudfodgepgephonxenflag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Flabcudfodgepgephonxenflag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flabcudfodgepgephonxenflag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Never think about planets.