Gilflabtif is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, deceitful crow.

Gilflabtif created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilflabtif, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gilflabtif, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gilflabtif's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gilflabtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange kilts.

2. Retreat if eight tortoises approach from the west.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.