Ganpibnutquag is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented lobster.

Ganpibnutquag created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ganpibnutquag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ganpibnutquag, it will turn you into a puffin.

Ganpibnutquag's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Ganpibnutquag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Foxes are not to be trusted.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.