Stikwaptof is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, moody hamster.

Stikwaptof created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stikwaptof, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stikwaptof, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Stikwaptof's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Stikwaptof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Run away if seven doves approach from the east.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Feed all hungry shrews.